Eat, Play, Love
Compassion in the taco truck line, making the difficult easy, allowing mistakes
I'm asking more and more these days, "How can I be of service?" but I get easily overwhelmed. I can’t begin to please everybody and even myself. How exactly do I fit in? Ideation is at the top in my Clifton Strengths and I’ve had to play the devil's advocate more than a few times. Whenever I see silly drama play out my response is both deep breathing and a loud emphatic sigh and even louder eyeroll followed by, "Can't we all just have some tacos and get along?" but not everywhere in the world has tacos obviously. However…
Almost every culture I can think of has their version of fried dumpling or to put it even simpler, meat or filling on carbs combo. The line at a taco truck or donut shop is one of the great advances in compassion if you want to think about it that way. Stand next to someone from somewhere, anywhere, and agree with them on something with your entire body. Your entire belly.
Practice disagreeing on why a yeast risen donut is better than the cake donut and vice versa. Just as someone in line at a taco truck might be passionate about their choice of shrimp tostada vs. shrimp cocktail. It's a lot easier to confess over a donut, "This is how my grandma used to make it. I don't necessarily see eye to eye with her anymore…” the stranger trails off for a thoughtful moment of genuine overwhelm with the complexity this habitual decision brings to mind. “I'm not saying you can't sway me. I love the yeast risen donut too. But an old fashioned donut? Come on, just feels like home ya know?"
And this is why changing our minds is courageous. It's so courageous. Trying a new flavor, a different donut, the shrimp tostada vs shrimp cocktail. We are habits for better or for worse but this little tiny vulnerability is an act of courage to create from outside of what we know. To be open to changes and opinions from others and practice seeing from somebody else's point of view. Practicing empathy. It's simply wild how varied and unique we all are. There are infinitesimal ways we come to arrive at the decisions we make.
So, back to wanting to be of service and thinking about how I can be. I love cooking and making difficult things approachable for people. In our busy lives cooking can be one more thing that we just "can't" with. So my proposal to my tiny and very good looking subscriber list is I will work on making some recipes fun and approachable. Most in less than an hour but since this is about becoming confident and being playful I also want to share your epic hero recipe too. You may NEVER make it. You may only make ONE out of one hundred of the more complicated recipes. (Will I get to 100? Goals.) Regardless, I will try to make it as easy as possible. These are recipes for confidence I’ll be sharing. Along with my other essays. Some are in service of yourself or your family. Some are in service of building a skill or impressing or connecting with your love or your date. They are all in service of passion and sustenance and storytelling because that’s what food is. That’s what wine is. That’s what cocktails are. That’s what I’M about. That’s what this is all about.
I just saw an old dear friend I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic which is wild to me. She’s the most incredible yoga teacher which is how we met and became friends. I had recently done a yoga teacher training before finding her class. In the training for how to put together a balanced yoga class teachers are taught to train the body in small ways that lead up to the peak pose. So you gather these small lessons and then get to use all that knowledge on the most challenging pose. While catching up with her and her super rad video game dreamer upper husband (seriously, I love meeting creative people and what a cool gig) we both came to the conclusion that what I want to do with cooking and cocktails and wine (ideally) is lead people into the challenging unknown by (hopefully) making these difficult things more approachable.
And listen, if you fail, throw it in the fuck it bucket. Eggs on toast for dinner is also an incredible meal at ANY time of day. Or there might be a pizza delivery driver waiting for your call. Just make sure to tip them please. I was one once. We also worked hard.
You’re gonna see music and playlists (cook with a playlist and not the news!) and photography and thoughts and hopefully ways to connect and people to connect with. I’d like to think about this as a community of world-shakers. I’d like to say to you what I said to them, “It might get weird.” But in this circle weird is good. A life filled with photos, thoughts, interesting people, great music, food, and drink. Tell me what’s better!
Some of the great people I’ve met in the last two years that have encouraged me to write but not just that, they’ve encouraged me to become more myself which is what this substack is. I’m in my eras tour but that’s my zone of genius anyway. Without the people I met through
’s Sustenance I wouldn’t be who I am today. That goes for my photography as well. , , , , , , , among others who aren’t on here. I don’t plan on sharing the type of writing I do with them here. That’s something else for now. I’ll let you know where to find it if that ever happens (rejection jokes.)With love in the pursuit of play,
Kevin
If you have something, or someone you’d like photographed. I take commissions and am happy to travel. Portraits, weddings, business, empowerment. I love talking about this sort of thing and making it work for the both of us. Check out my website here.
I’m here for it all Kevin! Also, yes to recipes. I’ve been enjoying cooking more lately
I am reluctantly teaching myself to cook at 52 because I can only do the basics and I am tired of eating out. Mike and I have been having fun figuring things out and it is time to connect and slow down. Look forward to whatever you share